ERSILIA TARANTINO BLOG

Discover the Power of Intuition

as an effective tool for Highly Sensitive individuals

Have you ever wished you could make life decisions easier.? Intuition is your secret weapon, your trump card to long term success, often referred to as ‘trusting your gut’ or tapping into your ‘inner wisdom’. This is something possessed by everyone, but especially apparent in highly sensitive individuals. When taught how to use it correctly it can help you find personal power and by following its guidance better outcomes.,you make better decisions, invest your energy in the right people and boost your life.

INTUITIVE LIFECOACH

Ersilia Tarantino

As Empaths, or highly sensitive individuals, feel things very deeply, often intuit things (interpreting using intuition) from those around them starting from a young age, intuition is a natural inner-resource that needs to be understood. It is a natural gift, and it’s important to understand how to use this gift in life and not feel judged or different for it.

A highly sensitive person is defined as someone who is quick to detect or respond to slight changes, signals, or influences from their environment, or displaying a quick and delicate appreciation of others' feelings. Picking up signals from your environment, experiencing feelings of others more easily and deeply than the average person. Being endowed with this perception, a natural gift, it means you often 'intuit" things (interpreting using intuition) having perception through the senses, or acute mental or emotional sensibility to be aware of and respond to the feelings of others, hear their ideas and take on their thoughts.


This heightened sensibility is due to, as far as research knows today, to a difference in their biological make-up and brain function of the amygdala, which helps coordinate responses to things in your environment, especially those that trigger an emotional response, emotional contagion. and current understanding of Mirror Neurons. A neurological part of the brain that receives information from the world around and connected with empathy, the ability to mirror and understand what people are feeling. 


Many highly sensitive people do not understand this about themselves, and like me may struggle with it. I went through most of my life up until the age of 35, finding it difficult to find my own identity, I felt very different, unconventional and unaccepted by others in society,  and so I shut down that part of myself. I didn’t realise I was intuiting and being easily influenced by other people and their thoughts, ideas and emotions, and didn’t understand that I was not only coping with my own, but others’ as well. This led to me doubting myself and struggling through life, to communicate well, be heard or be like others.

Until I learnt that intuition was this natural ability to sense things and could help me to get through life calmly, productively, and peacefully. . Coming to learn to listen to my intuition, taught me the means to know how to use it to make important or even small decisions and choices easier, and I know who I can begin to trust or not, rather than be influenced by others and controlled by their feelings.

When you add intuition with experience & reason therein lies power. Intuition gives you the big picture and logic breaks it down!!


SOME OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE MAKE DECISIONS WITH THEIR GUT

A survey done in the 1980’s asked a hundred successful CEO’s what contributed to their success, and the most prevailing answer was instinct and intuition.

Unless you grew up in a family that understood intuition or developed it in you, you may well have had the same experience. Instinct and intuition are not rational and logical, and as an empath or highly sensitive person you may have felt misjudged for feeling things stronger then others, leading you to lose faith in your own feelings, and in yourself and your abilities, not knowing whom or how to trust, your own decisions, own gifts relying instead on others opinions, imitating them, which doesn’t always work, which then perpetuates self doubt.

When we make decisions, its a normal response to ask others, as we often need a second opinion, but sometimes when we are confused, in doubt or unsure, we don’t always know the best person to ask and, despite having all our answers within, we can be swayed by what they think.  


What is intuition exactly?


When the mind is not the only sense being used and it tends to shut off and relax. It allows other senses to be used, they call this Intuitive Intelligence (IQ). For example those moments in the shower or when you are sat on the toilet and those ideas pop up! Have you ever wondered why? its not just the logical rational brain being used!! It is the first instinct before the mind has even had time to analyse a situation. 

Intuition can be described as an innate wisdom, an inner knowledge or an inexplicable intelligence. We may feel that it comes from within us, or from a connection to something greater than ourselves; something that is guiding us.

The English dictionary defines intuition as " the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning."  

While there are four different functions that we use to comprehend reality; thought, sensation, feeling and intuition, mostly we are taught to rely on our thoughts, this mind intelligence, and maybe our feelings, but not so much our sensations.

Sensations are a part of that instinctive animal knowing we have, that functions without the use of rational processes. Scientists now believe that it is, in fact, the result of our brains piecing together information and experiences to come to different, and less obvious, solutions and conclusions. For example, those moments of clarity in the shower which seem to come out of nowhere, are actually moments when our brain isn’t actively analysing a situation in detail, and is instead allowed to naturally form conclusions that may not have originally seemed logical.


Do we all have it?  

Yes, we all have it, but we may have just lost the capacity to hear it or use it, especially as it is not one of the forms of decision making that education teaches us to use. That’s not to say it isn’t incredibly valuable in a learning or problem solving environment, as demonstrated by the famous physicist Albert Einstein, who was said to have used it for many of his discoveries and even had a system to help him tap into it.

Intuition is known as the sixth sense, a function of the right hemisphere of the brain. Related to the feminine principle that is in all of us, whether man or woman. However, intuition being a more feminine quality, a lot of women find it easier to use.

Why we doubt ourselves and our gut!

Imagine every person is born with this innate wisdom - we have the answers, the resources, the solutions and the responses that we need, inside. However, more often than not, we are taught to doubt ourselves, or we ignore our intuition out of lack of self-confidence, low self esteem, or the belief that we are simply not equipped with the answers.

The reason we look outside ourselves is because we have not been taught about this intelligence, this natural inner ressource we came into the world with, and what it offers and how it works. It gets shut down, especially as an empath, this heightened ability and fit that is more natural for them. We are not taught to trust our own wisdom, or even that we have any.Education teaches us to search outside ourselves for the answers. Education is done in a usually scientific, logical and rational manner and we tend to continue this style of living. So sometimes when we have a gut feeling about the answer to a question, and when we know the answer, but perhaps not sure how we know, or how to show the process of how we got to the answer or prove it, people doubt us or we doubt ourselves.  One thing that I found I did often in my life.

Many times the result of asking others opinions is that they will advise you from their perspective of life, on what to do from their “vision” of things, their own fears or experiences, sometimes rational data, which doesn’t always give you the full picture or reflect who you are, your values, your desires. While it can often be helpful to ask others, sometimes it influences your choices and you take a path that is not necessarily right for you.


Children tend to be a lot more intuitive than adults, as they haven’t lost this sense yet, and highly sensitive children even more so. They intuitively know what they want when they are born. It seems that as we get older, if it has not been nurtured, we lose it and then need to feel privileged to tap into this sense. 


How does it manifest? and how can it help?

It is a source of knowledge that we obtain as images-visions, impressions, body sensations and the inner voice, a sense of knowing (that feeling of “I just know”). or hearing signals, signs, underlying verbal messages. 

Clear hearing, clear feeling (clairsentient), clear seeing, clear knowing (claircognisance), is part of who you are and therefore allows you to “hear” feel, see things before they happen and to avoid dangerous, inconvenient or wrong investments to save you time and energy and move you in a direction that is better suited. It converts information to guide us and disclose the meaning of a situation . Warn you about unforeseeable difficulties or enlighten you of opportunities to seize. Following its guidance helps you find personal power to make better decisions to lead from the heart. It generates positivity and discernment in our words and acts. 

Ways we may dismiss intuition

Apart from self doubt there are other ways we dismiss our intuition and stop ourselves hearing it:

  • By being overly emotive. We can sometimes let emotions and life experiences cloud our judgement or answers
  • Doing, doing, doing, all the time, instead of just being in stillness
  • Believing our ‘rational’ thoughts as total truth, and ignoring our feelings; letting the idea of rationality override everything else
  • Not knowing how we receive this mysterious information, or being skeptical  

What will help you to cultivate it ? and begin to tap into it to hear it? 

Like anything, it’s about education, practice, and gaining confidence to use it. We have a natural ability that gets lost, and it's about finding the tools that help us to reconnect. A few tips to begin to discover it in yourself are:

  1. Experiment. The only way to trust it is to experiment. Thats starts by becoming more present to yourself. It is important to develop your self-awareness, your ability to become emotionally mature,through grounding; balancing the physical, emotional and mental centres to go over and above the noise, know what fear is to differentiate and understand the emotions that may override that knowing voice inside
  2. Learn some techniques from those that already use it to help you cultivate it.  Be open to it and to opening the heart that sends the messages (listen to some things on heart math, about how to connect to the heart, the science of the heart www.heartmath.com
  3. Expect and believe it works. Science is beginning to accept this sense, this intelligence, the science times quotes it "as being one of the highest forms of intelligence". Open your mind to being less skeptical
  4. Learn how to use the power of how. Empowering questions, not just why is this happening but what do I need to learn here and asking yourself a how question, e.g how can I meet a man that is corresponds to who I am? and wait for the universe to give you the answers, letting go of controlling. Answers come from books, synchronicities, in meetings, in what people say. 
  5. Learn the ways it sends you messages. Learn about it, how you are naturally inclined to use it, which sense you use more. You will most probably have a more powerful sense, however as you learn it, the other senses become more in tune. .

Another good way to figure out whether you’re using or ignoring your intuition, your own inner guidance system is to ask yourself some questions. 

Am I listening more to other people’s opinions around me of what I “should” do, than myself? Am I scared to listen to what I really think?

One of the first steps in learning to use your intuition, is to learn how to worry less about what others think, and more about what you feel instinctively in your gut, in your body, in your energy. Get out of the head and into the body. Not easy as a young person surrounded by logical, head-based people, who may have been educated that way for years. It’s a habit!


I have been working with intuition and transforming people's hearts and minds for the last 10 years; if you would like to work with me, I offer 6-week online courses to coach your intuition.If you would like to read more on the subject, please see this book from a wonderful intuitive that developed the No. 1 school for coaching and intuition in France, highly recognised and with whom I trained; “Coach your intuition and create your own luck ” by Vanessa Mielzierak

Please contact me to find out more on +61 497 062902, hello@takejoyseriously.org

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WELCOMELIFECOACHINGSET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS PARENTS & CHILDRENSET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS YOUNG ADULTSABOUTCONTACTBLOGEVENTSThe Art of YogaFull Moon YogaMindful about herbs WELCOMELIFECOACHINGSET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS PARENTS & CHILDRENSET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS YOUNG ADULTSABOUTCONTACTBLOGEVENTSThe Art of YogaFull Moon YogaMindful about herbs                                         5 ways to start a business & transition on a low budgetBeing creative with money is an acquired skill and can help you transition with ease from a job to a business, or moving house or after a break up, hear are some tips and tricks to get you started Helping your children grow with confidence and resilience is not an easy task. We all have that protective instinct in us to want to keep our children safe and when they get to the age of exploration, testing and experimenting. It can be hard to balance how much freedom to give them. You may find you are always looking over your shoulder hoping they won't get hurt, running behind them. How much freedom do you give them to trust they have the capacity to learn by themselves and be ok? How much freedom is too much and dangerous? Not fall off the climbing frame or off the swing. How do you cope with those moments? How do you allow them to develop their own self confidence to continue to develop self esteem and trust in their own capacity for later in life, rather then teach them fear or to avoid pain. Its all about balance. This exploration period is a vital time to help your children build self confidence, to allow their curiosity. It is during this time that they need to be encouraged and supported, however we sometimes run around telling them don’t do this or don’t do that, be careful. Which can have the opposite effect of boosting their confidence !! Why? because it can instill fears and limits which very often are our own fears and limits. Confidence after all is having the ability to trust in ones own capacity to accomplish and do what we want to do and if we don't know how, to learn. This can be instilled from a very young age.How can we help our children, and why do some children dare and others don’t?The simple answer is to be an example for your children, not do as I say but do as I do, and have a look at how you yourself deal with your own fears, and feelings, and what you might be teaching your child. Children are learning from us all the time until they begin to develop their capacity to make their own opinions and become responsible, which they begin to formulate from ages 12-18 in early teens, a sometimes very conflictual period for all. The most significant phase of learning is between 0-6 years when they have not developed the capacity to analyse as yet, only to learn. During that time they take in from everything in their environment and especially from those people that are important to them, learning, mimicking, replicating, . From age 6 on they then begin to form cognitive abilities to slowly analyse, to transform things, add things, separate things, order things. It is not until and from the age of 12 onwards that they begin to think about possibilities, form new ideas, consider many points of view, become aware of their own or others thought processes, to understand if what they have learnt corresponds.During these early periods in life they want to gain our approval so as to continue to feel loved.It is therefore an important time in which we we need to learn how to validate their efforts not as good or bad but as a way to help them learn, to be ok to fail and to guide them to try again. Helping them to begin to believe in themselves and their own abilities.It is also during this time that we teach them how to act and feel, understand themselves and their emotions. One of the biggest emotions that destroys confidence is fear. Fear is partly innate and partly learnt effecting how we feel about ourselves and our self trust. There is much research into whether we are born with fear or it is learnt, varying opinions. However scientific research says that there are only two real innate fears, the fear of falling and loud noises. The rest are learnt from evolution from our ancestry or fear of a future event, the thoughts of what might happen. Therefore certain fears are an illusion or imagined, although we don’t always understand that. So what does this mean and what can we do? When you don't acknowledge your own fears about what is happening for your children, or for you, they then do the same and your fears become theirs. If also you don't acknowledge the fears of your children nor have compassion for what is going on for them they begin to feel rejected and begin to lack confidence to trust themselves.Many of us have not been taught how to accept our own feelings, perhaps they were never acknowledged when you were younger. Emotional Intelligence (being aware of our emotions and being able to acknowledge and express them) is very new, we are only beginning to learn more about it since the nineties. School didn't teach us.You may then be doing the same to your children that you do to yourself covering up your fears, laughing them off, saying things like don’t be scared, there is nothing to be scared of, how silly “what are you scared of”? Have you heard yourself saying those things to your child?It can be these, our own fears that then stop our children from experimenting or trying. Instead of instilling confidence and security that we trust they will be ok experimenting, guiding them and being the safety net if they fall climbing the climbing frame, or jumping off the rocks. we often say no or stop them doing it.What happens is that Instead of teaching them to trust their own capacities or intuition or to experiment we teach them to doubt themselves. Later that may also effect their motivation.We ask our children to do things that we ourselves may be scared of, because we ourselves might lack a bit of confidence, scared to fail, worried about other peoples opinions or tell ourselves inside don’t be scared when really we are.So what can you do?Start by learning how to be compassionate in acknowledging your own fears in life, to be prepared for what might happen, and then begin to learn how to acknowledge your children's, to teach them to do the same and help them step by step until they feel comfortable and safe. How do you begin to acknowledge your kids fears? Let me give you an example: I was with one of my clients a child age 6 boosting their confidence and self esteem through play. Whilst at the park the child wanted to go down the firemans pole and I could see that he was wary, scared. That innate fear of falling coming up!! Instead of telling him not to be scared I acknowledged his fear to reassure him that it was ok to be scared, with words such as “I can see that it is difficult for you, that you are scared, but I believe in you, that you can do this and I'm here to help you". The first time he shyed away, then as I reassured and acknowledged his fear and I gave him some tips, he began to feel better to want to try. The second time I stood by him and guided him, we did this a few more times. Slowly he found his own confidence and finally did it alone. You could see how proud he was with himself.Do you know that feeling of being proud when you have achieved something, confident that you succeeded when you never thought you could, maybe supported to get there, it’s a wonderful feeling. It reinforces your self confidence. You see confidence is not about waiting until you believe you have it to start, it’s about starting and then confidence is built, experimenting, adjusting and learning how. If you can guide them, they will gain confidence in themselves, in their capacities to be supported and able to work it out. That learning lasts a life time.  Being with compassion and listening to our children and saying “even though you are scared, I believe in you” can be some of the most powerful words that you can say to your child. It is essential that they are heard and understood in what they feel because when they aren't it feels to them like you are rejecting or judging them to be wrong in what they feel and who they are in their very essence. By taking a different approach the child will learn to accept themselves and all their feelings and not feel unloved for feeling what they feel and will begin to face their fears alone to try until they succeed. Even f they don’t succeed the first time, they won’t be scared about making mistakes. Once they have won and felt certain those skills are integrated they begin to trust themselves in the future. Remember to not push your children to try and achieve things before they are ready, or to compare them to others. Understand that sometimes they are slower in one area then others. Take time to see your own child and what level they are at, to compare them to themselves and what they are feasibly able to do. We often push them to be better because we want to be proud of them. However if you give your children challenges that are too hard, pressure to do more then they feasibly can without acknowledging that the child might have fears or reservations, shyness or is not at the same capacity to learn as others, instead of confidence it instills failure in the wrong way. They feel they have not lived up to your standards, may feel inadequate or criticised and it teaches them to give up on their projects. This will continue in later life. Lets give our children this gift of time to guide them, validate their fears or feelings, encourage them to dare, make their own mistakes and try again and not be scared to experiment or feel wrong, and perhaps by supporting them that way we can teach ourselves to do the same thing. I offer classes to create confident happy children or training for teachers with strategies for Calm & Emotional Intelligence. To find out more contact:hello@takejoyseriously.orgTel: +61 497062902skype: elsa.tarantino TIPS & TRICKSGet clarity on what you want and define what sparks your joy, to boost your relationships & motivation on your journey through life Tel: +61 497 062902What is unconditional love really?Become a joyful Spirit and keep up to date on our inspiring events, tips & tricks SUBSCRIBE Hey stranger!Thanks for deciding to become a Joyful Spirit and keep updated Sign up today and get 10% discount on any workshops or lifecoaching. SIGN-UP